'Love' Marriage?
“Ours is a love marriage, but his parents wanted me to convert. They said that I will have to give up Hinduism and become a Christian/Muslim.”
How many times have we heard the above argument? When he fell in love with her, he did not give importance to her religion or caste, but to marry and get his parents approval, he wanted her to change and adapt to his religious ways! Is that love?
“I was a Hindu by birth, but converted to Islam because my husband is one. I changed my name and started wearing burqua and saying the namaz five times a day.”
Two things that I wish to address with respect to this:
Does love require giving up your identity for it to succeed? If yes, then are you the same person he/she fell in love with?
posted by Miya @ 8:47 PM
13 Comments:
I have seen not giving up their religion after such a inter-religious marriage. But most of these cases are where the parents have not accepted the wedding.
Just wondering: In both your examples, it seems that the wife is the one who changes religion. Which is only half the story. Atleast for arguments' sake, give an "inverse" example. But what the heck. Its your post..
But I do agree that, irrespective of the male/female, its the hindu who gives up the faith and converts. Perhaps it is because, if the christian or muslim marries a mudaliyar, he/she can become one!????..
>Atleast for arguments sake..
How many times do we see men actually giving up their 'identities' (whatever it maybe...job, home, religion) after marriage?
Especially a woman's career is taken for granted...mostly!
> if the christian or muslim marries a mudaliyar, he/she can become one!????
Do they? Or do they 'adopt' both?
First one: As I said, its your post!.
As for the second part, I think the "logical" conclusion would be to follow the richer counterpart's faith!.
When the guy/girl from Sanathana Dharma, doesnot realize the importance and values it carries with, and chooses to associate with somebody of another faith, then it is in the best interest of SD, that they get converted or go where ever. It is not numbers that keep the dharma sustaining, even if it is a minority, the understanding of the Dharma does much much good than somebody just converting for the sake of it.
That is the different between the Abrahamic religions and our Dharma.
True. In love marriages, when the man's parents want changes, the argument is 'They are willing to accept us. Can't you make this small(?) adjustment?'
Though I agree that Hindus more easily give up their religion and convert, I personally know of a friend whose Christian girl friend has converted to Hinduism to marry him. I think it depends on which side is more religious than the other.
I agree on your sacrifise and what you did for your love,after all you have every right in doing so but wondering do you have this urge of not wearing burkha.not that i am against to religions but iam against to Burkha .
I believe the US government should ban burke here like some of the european government did.It's just another way the muslim religion suppress women.
You shoudl not wear ..It's SAD
"How many times do we see men actually giving up their 'identities' (whatever it maybe...job, home, religion) after marriage?"
It is wrong to view this particular as a male-female thing. Simply, because when a woman (the bride) is asked to give up her identity (say job), the "askers" are not all male. The groom's mom is a female and she feels as strongly (in fact, in many cases she is instrumental!) as the groom. All said and done, the decision is made by the bride and she is an adult. If she doesn't like it, there is always another horoscope, right?
To put my perspective right, I do agree that men don't give up their identity, but women do. I do agree that such a thing is not fair on women. But its not fair to blame the men completely either. There are women who play a hand for (and not against) such a thing and there are women who heed to it. On the contrary, there are men who fight to protect their bride's identity (job and religion) too. And they have to be counted in.
i discovered your blog thru "shoefiend". i see that you have lot of thoughts on man-woman divide. i guess 4 years in engg must have had something to do with it specially the mechies!!:)
i remember one incident in 1st year workshop where i tried to be chivalrous and offered help in foundry class to my only female classmate ( it was about lifting some heavy mould thingy) and she refused to allow me to help :).
i guess engg college does that to people.
as for this conversion thing... i feel that initially people love eachother, life becomes surreal as love is etheral and when they start to live together ( via marriage or sans marriage) reality starts dripping in like the ugly seapage on the wall.
thats where the rules enter the hearts and minds...
i guess it is the way of the world. the best you can do is to make your little worlds and hope it woll grow big enough to crush the outside world out of your life someday....:)
I have a different perspective.
I think Hindus don't want others to come into their religion/family just like that. They are comfortable with the traditions that they are following. Even if a person of some other religion converts himself/herself to Hinduism, they have been isolated in functions and ceremonies.
This is my opinion, if you are not comfortable, pl. excuse me.
If you go the gandhi way ...of peace people will ride on you ..hindus have always been the ones ..accepting other religion
Yes acceptance , peace is the true virtue of hinduism .It is a good quality to invite people to your house .but its foolish to let guests rule over your house.We need to know when we have to say NO and stop people from preaching their beliefs .
i dont mean to scare u but, i mean u might say that i am just 16 wat will i knoe!but check this site ou www.faithfreedom.org i read the whole thing i find it so true!! so are u a muslim now
do u know islamic woman dont have any freakin rights they have to follow some crappy fatwa system!! a few months ago a muslim woman was raped in india by her father in law and according to the fatwa she had to remarry her fater in law
one human to the other
Post a Comment
<< Home